The subject of stress has been extensively explored, with an Amazon search revealing over 60,000 self-help books and 30,000 scientific publications. Additionally, more than 60,000 titles address stress specifically for children.
Although I don't claim to be an expert, my experience balancing a career as a partner in a leading consulting firm, overseeing ICAR Collective’s expanding operations, and raising four children ages 5 to 20 has afforded me substantial insight into managing stress.
Here are three key insights that have helped me achieve better control over stress.
Stress means I am alive
Hans Selye, a Hungarian-Canadian scientist, first introduced the concept of stress in 1936, defining it as "the nonspecific response of the body to any demand made upon it." He elucidated that any increase in the intensity of life, whether a passionate kiss or a painful blow, induces stress. This can stem from the physical exertions of farmers and athletes, the anxieties of sports fans, the pressures faced by stock traders, the deadlines confronting journalists, or even the physical challenges encountered by patients. Stress arises in response to demands on the body, ceasing only in death.
Recognizing stress as an inherent part of life alleviates the guilt often associated with it. Whether preparing for a major presentation or organizing a child's birthday party, stress is inevitable. Acknowledging this can shift focus to what truly matters.
Recognizing Stress
The body often signals stress before the mind is aware of it. Symptoms may include a stomachache, an increased heart rate, or the onset of a headache.
It's essential to pause and observe these signs. Identify the stress and its cause.
What demands are being placed on your body?
Sometimes the cause is clear. Your heart rate increases when you are about to speak in front of a large audience. You might feel nauseous because your doctor still hasn’t called about your abnormal blood tests.
Sometimes, the source of stress is not evident. Your body is sending a signal and you are not sure yet why. Acknowledging the stress and calling it out for what it is makes it a bit more familiar and less intimidating.
And then empathy for how you’re feeling and curiosity as to what may be causing the stress are good next steps.
Unmasking Hidden Stress
There are times when stress manifests without an apparent reason. You may feel irritable or impatient. You’re snapping at the people closest to you and they, nor you, really know why.
Maybe you wake up sweating after a restless night filled with nightmares and vivid images of war. You might recall books or movies that represent everything that most terrifies you.
Instead of attributing these feelings to general fatigue, consider what underlying issues might be contributing to your stress. What are those images trying to hide? What is the source of stress upon which you are overlaying these "known" images?
The images of "known" scenarios of stress may be hiding the real source of what is causing stress in your life today.
Stop, breathe, think, and take a step back. Stress is a normal part of life, but it doesn't have to dominate. You remain in control.
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